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The first go around with him going alone, was when we were at couples counseling in Feb and he started yelling at me infront love in new silksworth of the therapist, pointing his finger in my face and my therapist stopped what was happening and asked him to look at his actions and how he is emotionally bullying me, so from there she suggested individual counseling and anger management for him, there was another therapist that worked at her practice and he started seeing him and 2 months into it quit. That was at the end of. I continued to go and he was forward about not wanting to return and I couldn't force him. Then there was the whole incident with my cat which happened in mid and that's when I told him he goes to therapy or I'm leaving. Within the week he had a new therapist picked out and had made the appointment, we went to the first session together, then he went alone and then I had to meet with his new therapist alone to talk about our history. Which is why he suggested that I come to 2 sessions each month. I actually like this new guy, he gives us exercises to practice with one another, we keep a journal, each of us write things that upset us and for each negative we also have to put a positive. Which I like because focusing on the negative all the time just makes it all the worse, I think we really lost site of the things we actually like about one another. If he quits this time, it is over, he has to stick with it for an entire year. This is his last to work on it, if he gives up so do I. I had to spend some of the money I had saved, my daughter had her braces and her retainers where exspensive and camp is also costly, but I have started adding to the pot again, I've saved over dollars, which I'm really proud of, because that's at least first month's rent if I do need to get out I've got a little something to work with. So where I am optimistic that we can be better people together, I am also taking precautions and not forgetting that I did have a plan and I don't want a bandaid on my unhappiness..I want it gone. 
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I ran into that and I thought I would be the LAST person to have a problem with it. Met my now wife, we didn't really discuss money I make a good living as a computer programmer, she is a lawyer so I figured she did OK too. I offered to cover all dates, she looked at me like I was from the stone age. We settled on alternating who paid. When we started to get serious, she suggested she pay for two of every my response was "why, you don't make double what I make" I was wrong. Fast forward to being married, I had to adjust to being the secondary income and the fact that we would follow her career I would change jobs if needed, but she was the primary bread winner. Surprisingly, I had difficulty adjusting. Our society re-inforces this belief in guys you are resonsible for being the bread winner and if you aren't you are a failure. I make a rather good living, I'm not a failure in any financial way (won't claim not to be a failure otherwise). :) I still had really strong feelings for a while. Mentally I knew it was silly, but it was hard to throw it off. Give him some space on that part but hold him to contributing something. It might be a painful talk, but make him have it AND make sure he participates. The two of you need to figure our finances now, what you set up now impact you as you go forward. Once the two of you work out who is contributing what hold him to it.
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